Timing is funny.
Nothing you ever expect happens at the time you expected it. I've been digging back within the past year and reflecting on everything I've been through since last summer and absolutely reveling in my discoveries. One observation I made is that the last post on this blog was June 8th, 2013, and it's nothing but wishing and hoping for a love so deep, for someone to come sweep me off of my feet, wishing for the little things that make every relationship perfect in its own way.
Well, timing is funny.
Not even a week later I met someone. Not the typical, "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" at a bar (though we were at a bar and that line was used, but it was used on my friend). Not something I wasn't used to already. I had become accustomed to being the wingman. The Number Two. The "Yes, I'll hold your drink while you go dance with Mr. Right Now." I shook hands with a boy who was buying my really gorgeous friend a drink, introduced myself, and went back to being Number Two. I didn't mind it, he was incredibly attractive and she was beautiful and it made sense to me and my low self esteem. He'd never be interested in me anyway, right? And I'm wearing an Avengers toga this night, exuding "geek" out of every pore.
The handsome boy and his friends were invited to join our party and move to a different bar. What he didn't know was there was another fellow this beautiful girl was pining over, who just happened to be at the next bar showing off his skills as a drummer. I felt a little sorry for the attractive boy as he realized the beautiful girl had an emotional attachment elsewhere. I made small talk with him, we danced a little, and if my memory serves me correctly, I do believe I bought him a drink. Toward the end of the evening he put his number into my phone under "Preston Awesome Mother F***er." Surely I wasn't expecting to hear from him again, though. Another fun night, another random, insignificant number that I would purge in a few weeks.
Over the next two months we conversed via texts. I learned that he's in the army, he used to be in the navy, he is divorced, and he's funny. I like funny. Still, though, I just enjoyed the conversations. I barely gave two thoughts about any kind of future with this person. He told me that he didn't ever want to get married again, and he didn't want to date, either. The army would be his partner in crime and they would live out their days defending America happily, side by side. This reiterated my lack of assuming any kind of relationship role other than texting buddy.
Also during those two months, he asked me out for sushi. I commented to him that driving an hour and some change to eat sushi with me sounded an awful lot like a date, to which he said that maybe he could date and that would be okay. So I agreed on dining with him, because... sushi. Who turns that down?
After over a month, one trip to Texas for two weeks, one trip to Charlotte and one trip to Myrtle Beach later, we finally set a date for dinner. Unfortunately it fell on a weekend when I had to work FOUR twelve hour shifts in a row, and our dinner was the fourth night. By that fourth day of work I was dead to the world. Sleep deprivation and exhaustion do not mix well. My coworkers took a poll on whether or not I should go out with the handsome boy. I was hesitant. Not only was I tired, but my previous experiences with dating had gone horribly wrong and I was over all men at that point. But, he was gorgeous, and my coworkers' poll said that I should go, so I went.
Best. First date. Ever.
We met at my favorite sushi restaurant downtown (Sushi Blues Cafe in Raleigh, amazing stuff). We talked. We laughed. I learned a little more about him. He's from Texas, which is perfect. Southern men are the best. He is the oldest of four, and the only boy. He told me about each of his sisters, his mom and stepdad, his dad in Michigan, and his grandparents. So he's a family man, even more perfect. We played a game called "Who Settled?" where you pick a couple out of the crowd, study them a little and decide which one of them settled in life. He thought it was funny. So he's also willing to judge people with me? Winner.
We finished the night off with dancing. I took him to an 80's and 90's bar called Coglin's, where he serenaded me with the Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls. At this point, the random handsome boy from June had me hooked. He loved sushi, judging, AND knew the words to "Everybody"? Where on earth had he been hiding? Afterward, we walked down the street to an upstairs bar called the Architect where we danced, laughed, judged some more and he kissed me. We had taken a break from dancing, he was sitting in an egg-shaped chair in the corner and I was squatting at his knees, leaning against him and talking when he leaned over and kissed me so gently and sweetly. Good thing I was squatting, my knees buckled under me.
After the evening was over, we walked back to the car and kissed again, this time longer and deeper. He grabbed my face with his hands and pulled me into him. He wanted to see me again. Next weekend? Let me check my schedule, ohhh look at that. Completely free. We went our separate ways that night, elated with how the evening went and excited that it would happen again and so very soon.
That was August of 2013. It hasn't been quite a year yet, but I saw him every weekend until he went to Florida for training in November. Every weekend we'd learn a little more about each other. We'd discover new restaurants (or well, he would discover Raleigh through me being that I've lived here half of my life). All of the trivial necessities like going to the grocery store or watching Harry Potter (...yes that is a necessity) were made that much better with him around. I had a reason to look forward to the weekends rather than dreading going to work every Saturday.
In October we went to the state fair. Although it's crowded and smelly, the fair can be super romantic. The romance part is only relevant due to the events of that weekend. He didn't actually tell me at the fair, but rather before we went, that he loved me. He said he's only told two people before me who both hurt him, so he was scared. But he held onto me, looked into my eyes like he was staring at my soul and told me that he loved me. If spontaneous explosions are things that can happen to the human heart, that's what mine felt like in that moment. It had been a while since I felt absolutely whole and in that moment, I was complete. I had been in love with him from the beginning. His laugh, his touch, how very gentle he was with me... I loved it all. I was so afraid to tell him, though. Now, I can't tell him enough.
It's interesting to look back and read about the longing for something that seemed so unattainable and then a week later meet the man of my dreams. I wasn't looking, just always hoping, that someone would come along and be that movie character Prince Charming, not knowing that I was so close to finding him. He was in Raleigh, making his way to me. And I've grown to love him so unconditionally. He makes me a better person. He challenges me to make the most of myself. We teach each other new things every day. We thrive on the little things, because they make our relationship whole.
I thrive on the things like, the "hello beautiful" texts I get every night after he's done with school. The stories he tells me about what's going on in his class. The way he's always touching me when we're together, whether his hand is on my knee while we're in the car or holding my hand if we're laying on the couch. Little things like the way he looks at me, like he's falling in love with me all over again. It's the fact that we're so different but complement each other so well. It's the fact that he's quiet. It's when he spends two weeks with me for Christmas rather than go home to Texas. It's the way I feel at home with him no matter where we are. It's when he remembers that my favorite flowers are stargazer lilies. It's when he kisses me so passionately. It's our "five-point" snuggles, where we're completely intertwined. It's when he rinses my hair out for me after I wash it. It's that he understands that I'm in nursing school so he comes to me. It's the "I miss you"'s and "you're my favorite"'s. It's when he buys my cat a Spock hoodie that has pointy ears on the hood. It's that he lets me talk about marriage and babies without being scared away. It's that he's entertained the thought of starting a family with me. It's that he's the sweetest man I've ever met. It's that he's my other half, my better half, and I couldn't be happier. Sometimes we argue. I mean, being long distance is hard, but he makes it completely worth it. "Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite."
